This is a tough but positive update to make in many ways.
I’m stepping back from the KS NOLA core team. Nothing dramatic has happened - I just want, as a middle-aged white male, to make way for a younger, more diverse set of organizers. I still really love everyone in the team, and I will still be involved the background, but giving administrative and general support rather than setting policy, sitting on the ethics committee, etc.
I’m incredibly proud of the community that has grown up here over the last eight years. When I lived in London, I was so inspired by the KS events there that it was a no-brainer to try and set up a chapter here. There was almost nothing comparable going on in the city at that time outside of the swinger clubs and a couple of fetish events, and being part of the evolution of an inclusive, sex-positive community that is now 3,000+ people strong has been incredibly rewarding, even given the many challenges.
My aim wasn’t ever to ‘run’ or ‘lead’ an organization or community, but to facilitate its growth and good health with like-minded people. I hope I’ve never tried to become a figurehead or the face of things - in my humble opinion, we should be suspicious of ‘talismanic’ leaders in any community.
It’s not easy, doing this thing. In fact, at times it’s incredibly stressful. Communities such as these attract toxic elements, and they’re not always easy to identify immediately. Thousands of people have as many opinions on who should be able to attend and how things should run, so it’s a constant fluid state. I remember a while ago, a thread in the global KS producers’ message board that said something like, “You’re going to fuck up, it’s impossible not to, but it’s all about how you react to fucking up.” I think that’s fair, at least in my experience. You’re on a learning curve with countless external pressures, so you get the best people you can to help steer the ship and we evolve together.
Given eight years and dozens of events of various sizes - the largest with almost 300 people at one time - the number of conflicts has been incredibly small. What has been most inspiring is the large number of emails and DMs after most parties that have said something along the lines of, “this is what I’ve been looking for” - all from a huge cross section of people, and that’s thanks to all of us. No space can be perfect for everybody but most of us advocate for and administer the spaces in a way that try to be as safe as possible and that has resulted in huge net positives (again, in my opinion).
For that, I’m so grateful to all of you, we all contribute to this.
Core team don’t really get to be off duty at parties. I’ve never played at a KS party; most of us haven’t. We’re keeping an eye for potential problems and picking up sex trash and being social and putting out fires, and that’s OK, it’s what we sign up for, but just know that it’s not a cake walk. It’s still fun, but it’s work.
So, please support and give grace to (and volunteer for!) the core team that’s taking over - they’re awesome people and they have the interests of this diverse community at heart. Thanks to Polly, Paul M, Ginger, Ben, Jasper, Synamin and Rachaela and all of the volunteers and attendees and everyone in this group. Much love to all of you, and I'll see you around.
Paul O
I’m stepping back from the KS NOLA core team. Nothing dramatic has happened - I just want, as a middle-aged white male, to make way for a younger, more diverse set of organizers. I still really love everyone in the team, and I will still be involved the background, but giving administrative and general support rather than setting policy, sitting on the ethics committee, etc.
I’m incredibly proud of the community that has grown up here over the last eight years. When I lived in London, I was so inspired by the KS events there that it was a no-brainer to try and set up a chapter here. There was almost nothing comparable going on in the city at that time outside of the swinger clubs and a couple of fetish events, and being part of the evolution of an inclusive, sex-positive community that is now 3,000+ people strong has been incredibly rewarding, even given the many challenges.
My aim wasn’t ever to ‘run’ or ‘lead’ an organization or community, but to facilitate its growth and good health with like-minded people. I hope I’ve never tried to become a figurehead or the face of things - in my humble opinion, we should be suspicious of ‘talismanic’ leaders in any community.
It’s not easy, doing this thing. In fact, at times it’s incredibly stressful. Communities such as these attract toxic elements, and they’re not always easy to identify immediately. Thousands of people have as many opinions on who should be able to attend and how things should run, so it’s a constant fluid state. I remember a while ago, a thread in the global KS producers’ message board that said something like, “You’re going to fuck up, it’s impossible not to, but it’s all about how you react to fucking up.” I think that’s fair, at least in my experience. You’re on a learning curve with countless external pressures, so you get the best people you can to help steer the ship and we evolve together.
Given eight years and dozens of events of various sizes - the largest with almost 300 people at one time - the number of conflicts has been incredibly small. What has been most inspiring is the large number of emails and DMs after most parties that have said something along the lines of, “this is what I’ve been looking for” - all from a huge cross section of people, and that’s thanks to all of us. No space can be perfect for everybody but most of us advocate for and administer the spaces in a way that try to be as safe as possible and that has resulted in huge net positives (again, in my opinion).
For that, I’m so grateful to all of you, we all contribute to this.
Core team don’t really get to be off duty at parties. I’ve never played at a KS party; most of us haven’t. We’re keeping an eye for potential problems and picking up sex trash and being social and putting out fires, and that’s OK, it’s what we sign up for, but just know that it’s not a cake walk. It’s still fun, but it’s work.
So, please support and give grace to (and volunteer for!) the core team that’s taking over - they’re awesome people and they have the interests of this diverse community at heart. Thanks to Polly, Paul M, Ginger, Ben, Jasper, Synamin and Rachaela and all of the volunteers and attendees and everyone in this group. Much love to all of you, and I'll see you around.
Paul O